i just feel like. suicidal people dont get credit for firstly, how stressful life is while suicidal, how difficult it is just to do simple tasks, and secondly, how hard it is to recover from years spent not caring once a person is no longer actively suicidal or no longer having suicidal ideations.
i feel behind in life because i spent the last 7 ish years not giving a shit about my future because i assumed id be dead before id have to deal with that, and now i have to start making decisions that many people started considering years ago.
i know its been said b4 but growing up suicidal and then reaching an age you never planned to live to is extremely stressful and terrifying, and we deserve more credit for not killing ourselves and THEN having to make up for the time we spent not caring if we lived or died and not doing work to improve our lives.
sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you
walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass
sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale
drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out
stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses
eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all
look up at the stars and the moon, understand how small we all are and how immense the universe is, realize what a miracle everything is, let your heart swell with amazement and admiration for life itself
ok this is actually cool bc doing all of this is a technique called “mindful thinking” that is extremely useful for people with anxiety disorders and dissociation disorders and stuff!
